During my meditation I have been asking myself the same question for the last 6 months: “What is life expecting of me today?”
I tend to think of the big picture. In a 15 minute meditation I will often think of two or three new projects I could be working on — each of which could change everything if successful. When I think of the book I’m writing it’s always as a whole, “I need to finish this book!”, a goal that includes publishing, marketing, and visiting schools to promote it. Then my ADD tells me that I can probably do it all at once if I’m more productive. This manic energy pushes me for a week or two… then I crash and the projects seem so overwhelming that I’m pushed to despair.
“What does life expect of me today?” pulls me out of this cycle because it forces me to think on a small scale.
It’s impossible to answer “finish my book”. Or “make a podcast”, or “adapt the Divine Comedy as a self-help webcomic”. I may be able to start these things, but usually there is something more pressing to be done first.
Instead, my answers are things like “edit the next chapter” or “update my website”.
These tend to be manageable and important, instead of gigantic and vague.
Sometimes the answer isn’t even related to work: make dinner for Avvai, go grocery shopping, phone a friend.
Sure, this often makes my day feel like I’m stepping gingerly through the fog, unsure about what’s ahead, when new goals are like aiming for mountains on the horizon. But this is the only real way to climb a mountain… and with that weak metaphor I’m going to move into my actual day. Because today life is expecting me to finish a lot of work and this is starting to feel like I’m procrastinating!