“You’re Going To Dive And You’re Going To Like It!”

Almost as soon as Panama was mentioned, Jayme had decided we were going to dive the Coiba Islands.

Scuba diving is great, but it is expensive.  I’m the type of traveller who is commonly described as ‘cheap’.  Therefore, when we arrived in Panama I tried to steer us towards places with more free activities, like hiking and sneaking into museums.

This was going great until we rolled into the town of Santa Catalina (Jayme’s choice) and I discovered I’d been outsmarted.  Scuba shops and rental places made up every second house, all advertising the ‘greatest diving in the world’ — The Coiba Islands.

As such our first stop was the dive shop.  Here I learned – to my shock and horror – that scuba diving costs $160 American dollars.  That’s nearly $200 Canadian!  Jayme readily agreed to this price.  To my surprise, Jesse and Marissa both decided to accompany her, despite only being able to snorkel; for this dubious honour, they only had to pay a measly $90 American.

Here was my dilemma.  One of my strongest beliefs is to say ‘yes’ to everything – as you never know what the experience will yield.  However, it is also my belief to never spend 200 bucks in one day while travelling.

The diving lady handed us the dive papers and my stomach condensed into a black hole.  I didn’t want to go.  At all.  My body was physically rejecting the experience.  But what if it really was ‘the best diving in the world’?

I filled out the paper, each pen stroke feeling like a knife on my heart, and by the time I had finished it read like a death warrant.  On the walk up to the counter, I decided to compromise.

“Maybe I will go snorkelling instead,”  I told the diving lady hesitantly.

She looked up abruptly, her blue eyes piercing my hesitation.  “What do you mean?”  She was European, most likely Dutch, and she didn’t even try to hide her dislike of my idea.  “Is it safety?  I assure you we are the safest dive company in town.”

“No…”  I said.  I felt like I was breaking bad news to her.  “It’s money.  I just don’t feel like I can afford the diving price right now.”

“You can’t afford it?”  She said in disbelief.

“Uh well it just doesn’t seem worth it to me I guess.”

My words made her mouth twist.  “Do you know what we are going to see?  It is amazing.”

“Yeah I saw the poster.”  This lady was making this difficult.  “Can I have some time–”

She cut me off.  “–You take some time to think about it.  Your friends need to go to the hostel to get their money, you can come back with them and tell me what you will do.”

“Right.  Cool, thanks.”

“–But you need to give me the $20 deposit for the island so I can let them know you are coming.”  She held out her hand.

$20 was a small concession for escaping.  A block away I knew I was making a mistake.  I shouldn’t switch to snorkelling – I didn’t want to go at all.  I proposed this to my companions and they agreed that if that was how I felt then I should just cancel.  I agreed and headed back to let the diving lady know my final decision.

I arrived at the dive shop maybe fifteen minutes after I’d left.

“Hey, I’m sorry but I think I’m just going to cancel,”  I told the lady.

“What did you just say to me?”  She said, each word pronounced as if they were stand-alone novels.

“Um… I just don’t feel like going so I’m going to cancel.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Yeah, I’m not going.”

“No.  You are going.”

I was confused.  This wasn’t how cancelling things usually went, except of course with any type of phone service.  “What?”  I asked, bewildered.

“Do you understand the situation you are putting me in here?”  She asked, knowing that I probably didn’t.  “I was counting on you diving, now it is trouble.”

“Why?”

“Now you’re friends are probably going to quit too.”

“No, they are 100% in.”

“Well if you are quitting then we are operating at a loss.”  She stared at me with her piercing blue eyes.  I don’t think she blinked once.  “Now I can’t send the boat out.”

“You can’t send the boat?”  I couldn’t believe it.  I had screwed over everyone with my indecision.  “But wait… if you were just taking my friends you would have been at a loss anyways right?”

She doesn’t answer my question.  “Do you understand the situation I’m in?”

“Yes, I understand.  I’m just wondering if you would have been losing money anyways with one diver and two snorkellers.”

“No, you don’t understand.”

Maybe I didn’t.  “I realize this is not a good situation for you but I don’t want to go so I’m cancelling.  It’s been like fifteen minutes.”

“You went and found another company.”

“No!”  I was starting to get annoyed with her.  “Listen to me.  I just got back from Africa, where I snorkelled a ton, and I don’t feel it’s worth the money this trip.  This is my sister’s big thing!  I’m only here because she wants to be.  I don’t care one bit about snorkelling!”

“So you aren’t going to Coiba?”  She asked squinting in disbelief.

“No!”  I took a deep breath.  “Listen, I realize this is unfortunate… Is there anything I can do to help you out here?”

“Come scuba diving.”  The woman said.

“Besides that.”  I shook my head.  “It’s okay if we have to find another boat, we don’t want you to operate at a loss.  My friends will understand.”

“Okay, here is what we will do.”  She said, her eyes still unblinking.  “You leave your 20 dollars and come back at closing, seven o clock.  If we have more people for the boat you can have your money back, if not then it will help a bit with the loss.”

“You want to keep my money?”

“Yes.”  She said, with zero shame.

“Well… Okay, I guess.”  I said.  In that moment losing twenty bucks and getting out of there was way better than paying the whole price for scuba diving.

“Okay, now go.”  She finally looked down, releasing me.  I left immediately.

On the jog back to the hostel I replayed the conversation, trying to see it as a business conversation and not an attack, but it still felt a little raw.

At the hostel, I informed everyone of what I’d done and I was met with sympathy.  The plan was made to switch to a different company, no problem.  Jesse and I jogged back to finalize the plans and put an end to the whole affair.

Walking into the dive shop was like walking back into a lion’s den, but I put my head high and smiled at them.  Amazingly, my smile was returned.

“You are a lucky guy!  Someone walked in right after you and booked the seats!”  The lady had completely transformed.  “And they got me a beer so I’m much happier now.”  She pulled a beer up from behind the counter.  Then she handed me my $20.  “You guys are good to go.”

As we left the dive shop it was like the black hole in my stomach had finally imploded, sucking the tension into its abyss.  The birds were singing, people were smiling, and life seemed once again worth living.

Jayme and the gang ended up having an amazing day of diving.  They saw dolphins and indeed she said ‘it totally could have been the best diving in the world’.  I had a great day with some German girls and so we all ended up happily.

And so the lesson from all of this is… don’t put a deposit down for scuba diving?  Just say no?  Trust your intuition?  I’m not exactly sure.  All I really know is that if I ever have to deal with that diving lady again I’m going to bring her a beer right from the start.