Most people run away from fear.
But what they don’t tell you is that fear can be a powerful tool. Because your fear can show you exactly what you need to face in order to grow.
Fear Limits Us
Fear exists to stop us from doing things. Sometimes this is useful — I’m afraid of being hit by a car, so I use crosswalks and stoplights. It keeps us safe by curbing our urge to hug tigers and bears.
But often, fear is not useful.
We fear what people will say, so we limit our self-expression and don’t ask for what we want. We don’t follow our dreams because we’re afraid of failure. We aren’t honest because we fear rejection.
It almost seems like fear is telling us exactly what we should be doing…
The Fear Compass
Personal growth means overcoming limitations. If fear = limitations, then it makes sense we can use fear as a guide towards growth.
I call this the Fear Compass.
What are you afraid of? What’s the biggest thing limiting you? That’s where the Fear Compass is pointing — and where the most growth will be found.
My Fear Right Now
Right now, one fear I’m facing is making video projects.
I hate the idea of putting myself on camera and being vulnerable in front of the world. I’m afraid people will want to cancel me for some reason, or that I’ll be rejected for looking like an idiot, or that I’ll suck so bad that I stop all creative work forever.
Obviously, these sound dumb when I list them out, but that’s the nature of fear. It shrinks when confronted. Unfortunately, that doesn’t make it disappear. I’m still afraid of making videos.
But this means I should probably make videos. I don’t even know how I’m limited by this fear yet. Maybe it’ll increase my confidence, my public speaking, or marketing skills. I have no clue. But it sure makes me uncomfortable thinking about doing it. At its worst, I’ll confirm I don’t like it, which would be valuable in itself.
It’s Not A Fear GPS
One caveat: the Fear Compass is a next step strategy. You don’t know where it’ll take you. I wish it was the Fear Atlas, or even Fear GPS, but it is designed for you to know your next step, not your final destination.
Where will overcoming your fear of spiders take you? Or confronting public speaking? I have no clue. And neither will you — until you start moving forward.
I Used To Be Afraid Of Spiders
I’m a recovering arachnophobe. It used to be so bad that I couldn’t go places where spiders might be, which was pretty dang limiting.
One day I got sick of it and started studying spiders. I took out books from the library, watched a spider outside my window daily, and looked up youtube videos of those very strange people that raise them as pets. Eventually, I noticed they didn’t bother me so much. I learned which are dangerous and which aren’t… and that most of them are helpful little critters.
I still get the shivers looking at them, but I don’t mind spiders anymore. As a result, I’ve been able to sleep in spider-infested barns while traveling, venture through spider-laden rainforests, and even eat dead ones. I had no idea that reading a few books over the summer would open up these adventures, but that’s the nature of fear. It tells you it’s keeping you safe, when it’s actually stopping you from living fully.
Where Is Your Fear Compass Pointing?
I like the immediacy of this idea. Even if your fear is huge — climbing Mount Everest for example — there is always a small version of this that you can face today. Maybe it’s a hike in the park or climbing a tree.
For me, I can make a little video where I talk about this. Which is probably what I should do.
I can do it while walking home today. The chances are low people will watch it, which suits me just fine for now.
And who knows, maybe I’ll end up being a big time public speaker one day. I have no clue. And neither do you.
We’ve got to get past the fear to find out where the heck the compass is pointing.
Good luck.