I want to help people live more meaningful lives. I think it’s my purpose. Or calling. Or destiny. Or “only thing I’ve found that feels worth doing with my life”.
This means I need to be living my own life in a meaningful manner. Unfortunately, there isn’t an easy formula for this.
Lots of people have proposed formulas — Nietzsche’s “why”, Frankl’s Logotherapy, Martha Beck’s “live with authenticity” — and I’ve found a lot of value there. But today a new question arose:
What do you do when what is meaningful changes?
Each morning I ask “what does life* expect of me today?” (*or your most fulfilled future self, or God/Allah/etc).
Picturing Life as a benevolent force that wants the best for me, knows my limits, but also knows my future, is a powerful tool. My friend Joey thinks we all subconsciously know what we should be doing; this is finding, listening, and trusting that voice.
Yesterday, it felt like the most important thing I could do was edit a few chapters of my book. Then today, it’s a family phone call after hearing that my grandfather has died. Tomorrow, it’s to fly home.
Yesterday, I was worried about money. Yes, I think the book will be meaningful to people, but paying rent will be meaningful to me. Not having to get a serving job is also meaningful to me; I’ll be able to keep the promise to myself that I will not serve in a restaurant ever again.
But today I’m prepared to take our savings, fly home, and get a serving job when I get back. Because what is meaningful has changed.
If I was in an accident and had botched back surgery and was denied healthcare, then meaningful changes in an instant.
Does this diminish the pursuit of a meaningful life? Is meaning an engine that keeps us going, as opposed to a destination? If you knew your “why” was going to be eradicated tomorrow, would that change how you live today?
I think our goal can only be to live each individual day meaningfully. Worrying about the legacy of our work is a ticket to anxiety. Because the big goals and meaningful dreams (apparently) change.
What does life expect of me today?
To call my family. To write a blog post. To sit for three cups of coffee and talk about the possibility of heaven. It’s not about moving towards a meaningful life, it’s about living it now.